If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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