I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
