she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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