just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
