I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
