Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
