Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
