I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
4 words: hood of his car
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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