Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
