So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
