Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
