He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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