She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
