dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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