bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
