I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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