Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again