Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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