I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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