I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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