I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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