How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
