Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
