So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
