Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
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malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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