my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I believe in your delicious
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
