Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Swine flu is the new snow day.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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