We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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