The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
