You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
nutella sex= disaster
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
