Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
