I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
