when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
