I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
