my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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