Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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