is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I need a beard to bite.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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