guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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