I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
