a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
another moral hangover. fuck.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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