Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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