i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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