I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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