Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
