You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
