Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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