I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
