his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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