i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
