I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My ATM looks so different sober.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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