someone threw a dead crab at me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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