It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
ttyl tear gas
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
