So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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