You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
