I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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