I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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