i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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