Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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