Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
