Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
