She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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