I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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