did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
