Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
