Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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