wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
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I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.