just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do vagina's smell?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
