Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
