none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize